Your Name Here

IS HEREBY CERTIFIED AS HAVING A

BAD ATTITUDE:

FOR the relentless THEFT OF TIME from employers...
FOR REFUSING to Dress For Success...
FOR having BETTER THINGS TO DO than work...
FOR retaining CREATIVE ENERGY in the face of
overwhelming opposition...
FOR having a perpetually MISTRUSTFUL relationship with all forms of authority...

For these and countless other types of subversive behavior, the bearer of this certificate is entitled to solidarity in the form of active and moral support from all other certificate holders, and thousands of others, all indefatigably undermining the present global "order."